Boys or girls

Well it has happened already. I didn't think that at 2 1/2 it would come up, but it has. "This is boys and this is girls". Scout starting to apply gender to "stuff". I can only think of one place this has come from, public bathrooms. The only time we use gender specific terminology is using public bathrooms.


This is a topic that I consciously make efforts to prevent from happening. I don't want Scout, or any children that crosses my path, to think they should be pigeon holed by gender. It all started for me when I was only about 6 or 7 years old. I spent weekends with my Gram, camping in NH. I would run the woods, no shirt, wielding a hatchet, cutting trails, making camp furniture and hunting for mica. Then I was signed up for Brownies...we sat at a table and stuck cloves into an orange. That was it, I never went back. I had seen the Cub Scout handbooks in the library and that is what I wanted to be. But Cub Scouts didn't allow girls to join. I walked to the library, 1 block from Gram's house on the weekends and checked out the handbooks. I spent my weekends, page by page, completing the skills and "earning badges". Don't even get me started on the BSA discriminatory practices still today. Then it was time for Little League. I signed up and was the only girl on the team, probably in the league (this was in the 70's). As an adult things didn't change. I typically am the only girl in many things I do. When I train or deploy to a disaster there are very few females. As a K9 specialist there are more females but I am also a rescue specialist and I will generally be the only one. At a wildfire I will usually be the only girl on a crew of 20 firefighters and have been the only female in charge of medical for 3 crews spiked out on a remote fire. For a living I am a professional fire fighter. I am the first and only female firefighter on a city department with 144 firefighters....and did I mention I finished number one in my academy where almost every other recruit was half my age and all were male? I'm not trying to brag, actually you probably have never even heard me speak of these things. I am passionate about believing that you can do ANYTHING.

My amazing son had a dream when he was 6 years old to be a fighter pilot. He never gave up his dream. Even with plenty of obstacles thrown in front of him, he never gave up. He is 23 now and a Lt in the USMC...the beginning of next year he will be starting flight school in Pensacola, FL. I do not want to take any credit for this amazing accomplishment. But, I do hope I influenced him to follow his dreams.

Now, I want the same for Scout. One reason we chose the name was because of that passion. "Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail". I want the same for any kids I have the privilege of spending time with.

Scout has a wide range of play stuff. She runs loose in the forest, climbs, rides, explores and builds. She has trucks, tools, balls, blocks, art supplies, dolls, bikes, books, musical instruments. She watches me build, repair, fix, sew, cook and clean...and her Dad also build, repair, fix, (no sewing), but cook and clean. She has no limits and does not feel any.

So where does this come from...I still think it is the public bathrooms. I am not saying they should not be separate, just that it must be where she got the idea. Girls and boys should both be able to follow their passions. Whether they are the "norm" in society or not. One of the wonderful things I love about unschoolers is there is no judgement. Kids accept each other for who they are and feel safe to be who they want to be. This could never happen in school, public, private or other.

We will continue to be non reactive to these gender comments from Scout. That is always the best way to let things pass. But we will also be more aware to talk about it being okay for anyone to try anything that they want to try...gender should never drive your choices.